The 7 year omnibus

The wheels on the bus don’t go round and round if there is a delay

On this third week writing I shall talk about my experience with a service. A service which in my world, disappointingly for me, I have used for the past 7 years. I am of course on about the buses of Britain.

Here in Somerset, the stench of stale urine hits you in the face regardless of what number bus you get on. Whether it be the 30, 96C, 21A or 99 with a flake, the buses have always emitted a strong odour of human waste. Despite this problem, the general public (including myself) have developed a rejection technique to ignore the foul smells stagnated by young children with runny noses, and incontinent geriatrics with corduroy trousers – a very absorbent material…

With the buses being such a big part of my life, I have managed to adapt my own circadian rhythm to know exactly when to wait for a bus. However, this is not efficient enough as the major problem is the delays. Sometimes hours on end, buses will not turn up. Or it is the other way around and 30 minutes ago it has already passed your stop! The waiting game for the buses not only irritates me, but all the others at the bus stop. It is then that the travellers/commuters become irrational, playing with their earrings, pram or gum. Either way it drives everyone mad, and makes them want to jump under a bus (pardon the pun).

And then you get the actual people themselves. Avoiding the stereotypes of buses, (as that would be social media suicide, again!), you will always get the ones who like to bring up an argument. From my experience, it does tend to be the older, more stern generations. I can relate to this very well, just from today in fact. I received verbal profanity from a woman who did look like she was fresh from The Jeremy Kyle Show, who, for no apparent reason, called me a ‘tw*t’ – and no, that’s not an ‘i’ missing from that asterisk! It is moments like those on the buses which create great excitement and entertainment for everyone eavesdropping. Why people feel the need to argue on a bus I have no idea, however, it does allow you distinguish whether or not you should sit next to the older generations next time. And I know you’re wondering what I said in retaliation. I told her to get her teeth sorted.

You may have had a different experience with the buses, I do not know. All I can say is that they’ve pretty much made my life a little more uninteresting for myself, and less eventful than watching a care home attempt a Mexican wave. Let me know if you’ve ever been on a bus and hallucinated from the quirky seat design to hide dandruff…

Again, the image is not representative of the blog, however maybe Pele was the pioneer of Public Transport? But for now, Seth Dellow, signing out for the count the Duke orsino.




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