Hallucination Operation

Cyster Sledge

*This is a continual from last weeks blog, in which the said issue is to be shared with you. How interesting*

It was the 17th of September 2015. I had been on a waiting list for over 9 months, and by this time the urge to smack the NHS in the face had nearly got the better of me. However, I prevailed until this date, whereby I was admitted to the ‘beautiful’ Acorn Ward, (I never understand why the wards are named after certain natural elements. As if a flipping acorn will make you feel any better, god help you if you’re on the nuts ward. Why not just call it the surgical aftercare ward for children/young adults? I would do a better job). Of course, you are wondering what operation I had, which was to remove a cyst from my neck.

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The room which I was staying in – prison cell?

I will not put gross pictures on this blog as that would be social media suicide – again (Social Media Suicide should be on the OED by now). I remember being sat in the room (as pictured) waiting for the surgical team to come in with their crocodile bags and angelic robes. Turns out I wasn’t in the nursery rhyme Humpty Dumpty or Songs of Praise. The excision of the cyst was to done by a tall fellow, whilst the anaesthetic was to be done by a guy with a large amount of facial hair. Let’s skip to the juicy part – literally…

Unsurprisingly the operation was a success, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this right now. It did however prove to conjure up a problematic experience for me which to this day I cannot recall whether it was a hallucination – or reality!

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The back of my hand with a lovely cannula shoved into my vein, yum

Morphine was being pumped around my bloodstream post-operation, which made me feel really good. The only real issue with the strong pain relief drug was the side effect of hallucinations, which were tampering with my vision. The ‘main’ hallucination, if you like, was when my eyes, which had been shut for 2 hours, peeled open to reveal a male nurse. This male nurse was not normal. He was sat directly in front of me, ‘supposedly’ on a computer. Whilst I tried to take into account his features, I noticed he was on eBay, ‘supposedly’ looking at white Ford Transit vans. Although weird, it was all topped off when he turned his head all the way around, like a tawny owl, and winked. After that, I cannot recall anything post-operation until the food arrived.

The evening dinner concysted of pizza and white rice, something which I fully recommend you try despite how disgusting it sounds. I was discharged the following day, and had 2 weeks away from the normal routine of school and hard work. However, this time had allowed me to process the next chapter of my life, which will be told in a future blog.

You may have the temptation to check/stare at the scar on my neck, and those of you who are queasy will be relieved to know it is not as bad as seen in the photo featured for this blog. That was my operation, there is not much else about it! But for now, Seth Dellow, signing out for the count the Duke orsino.

 

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